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11月6日 The Little Miss Sunshine..Given the following condition:
Final exams are just around the cornor..
I know absolutely nothing about everything I am supposed to know for the exams..
AND..
I just handed in my final assignment..ON TIME (please, give me some credit for that)..
Slept at uni lab for successive 3 night (call me crazy..but it was NOT too bad..)
I decided to go for a moive alone to reward myself for going through that I have been through..and to encourage myself for going through whatever will come through soon..
There it was : The Little Miss Sunshine
I laughed so hard that my tears just boosted out..and I felt my heart for the characters in the story..a much-troubled family..the "perfect" family..
An American family..two kids..
the little girl who has always been dreaming to be the beauty queen (without realising that she is not) and practicing everyday for the competition of "Miss Little Sunshine"..
the 15-year-od boy who is determined to be a pilot and taking vow of silence till he gets qualified for the airforce entrance exam..meanwhile claims he hates everyone including his own family..
the parents..relationship is on the edge..fighting with each other can never be more familar to their kids..the father..much of a deamer to have his own "9 steps to be a winner" program and expecting to kick off his career in no time..the mother works hard every day..and takes chicken home for dinner every day..
the much related family members..the father of the father..loves porno and loves spreading his philosophy on "fuck a lot of women"..secretely taking drugs..and coaching the little girl for her talent show in compeition..the enstranged uncle..gay and former no.1 scholar in his field..until he found out his very much loved student abondoned him for the second best scholar who just got rewarded for "genius reward" in the field..so he got panicked and did the wrong thing..got fired..then tried to kill himself..but failed..
one phone call is all it took for the family to decide to drive thousand miles on weekends in order for the little girl to compete in the grand final "Miss Little Sunshine"..the truck was never be able to make it start on it own without having all family members runing with it for a little while..
on the way..the father found out his dream career was just a bubble in the air..the uncle met the very happy couple of his nightmare caught him buying the men porno for the grandfather..the grandfather died for drug taking before they got to the destination and the family decided to steal the remaining from the hospital and keep going on the compitition with the dead body lying at the back of the truck..the son found out that he is color blind which teared apart his dream of flying..therefore started to speak again..
after all of this..the family finally got in the comptition with a little luck with a kind-hearted organiser..the little ugly-ducky chose to keep the show going in respect of grandfather..though the talent show was a complete disaster since what she was taught was porno move dancing by the passed-away grandfather..nevertheless..the family blended together and messed up the show completely on the stage..
and given the warning of " never allow the daughter of your family to participate any beauty contest in the state of California"..
yeah..they lived with that..and happily hited on the road with a new chapter of miserable life..
The End..
sounds like heavy stuff..isn't it..but it was not..I laughed from the very beginning of the movie to the very end of it..touched by heart..felt for every single character..colourful life with chaos..
No one should miss it..unless for those think they don't ever need have a laugh about your own family..
okie dokie..back to lab..start my miserable journey of study! Who is Laughing Again..
10月23日 The Psychology of Happiness...Accidentally..I found this interesting new dimension of Psychology..apparently..It claims that every single of us has the potential to learn to acquire happiness.. Chinese proverb tells us that happiness is only to be met..not to be pursued..Now..western psychologists tell us that we can actually do something to make ourselves a happy person!.. HOW EXCITING..good timing indeed..now I have a total different perspective about life..still working on a deeper understanding of the fourteen fundamentals..but I just can feel that I have more control about my life..my own happiness now than ever before.. Below..is what psychologists say about how to achieve happiness..IF..you think you want to be happiner..need to be happier..then..my dear friend..please read on..
The "Fourteen Fundamentals" are:
10月22日 who am i joking..I thought..life is meant to be simple..because love is like that..
To meet you in million crowds..hold your hands tight..then grow old with you..
I thought..it's not that much to ask for..
It was all wrong..
Who am I joking..
Martini is made up with gin and vermouth..
First time drunker is made up with broken pieces..
the explosion in the head is killing me..
Killing me with the memories of you and me..
My body starts shrinking but it feels great..
I can finally be free after four Martini..
You said you think of me ever morning you open up your eyes..
You said you like it when I whisper in your ears..
You said my smile heats up your body temperature..
You said my sense of humor is the cure for everything..
You said too many things..
I believed you are the reason stars shining through the air..
I believed you are the hero saved me in the nightmare..
I believed you are the one to hold hands.. and grow old together..
I believed you are my happiness..and I am yours..
I believed so many things..
Too many things..
who am I joking..
Who am I joking..
Friday..20th OCT 2006..possibly the last time I will ever see him..
I couldn't cry out loud about it until 4 Martini cocktails running through my brain..
For the first time of my life..I was drunk..almost passed out..it felt great..the explosion in the head was killing me..
but it felt great..only if I could get punished in that way..
I wonder how will I ever get punished for what I did..I will take whatever I deserve..
I have no regrets..but I am sorry for what I did..
Life after friday has been quite..hangover wasn't as bad as it could get..
Life after friday will be just fine.. 10月10日 umm..out of blue..I did an amazing thing to face my ultimate problem..
Now..I think I can let it go..
I am so proud of myself..
The way I did it may not be the most considerable to other or to myself..
but..who cares..what's done is done..
the genius idea ever!
okay..guys..for who may have been worried about me..
I am proudly present~~~~~~~~~~~
refreshing zoe!!!
Xixi..
that's it..boring entry..huh..
okay.. i will get really busy with study for these 4 weeks..
feeling so energetic and excited!!
wooooooooooooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 10月5日 Still a mistletoe..Mistletoe - parasitic plant that relys on another plant to survive..take nutrients from the host.. My whole life.. The mission of looking for my destined hosts.. Along this journey.. I met some of them.. Those imporant people.. I laughed with them.. Cried with them.. Grew stronger with them.. Eventually.. They left for different reasons.. But by destiny.. I live up with the nutriton taken from them.. Then slowly.. Slowly dry up to the end of life.. I see him disappearing in my life.. Like most of them.. But this time.. He is leaving.. Taking a piece of me with him.. 10月4日 where were you three years ago..He asked..
where were you three years ago..
I said..
I don't know..all I know is I must be doing something stupid..otherwise we would be holding each other right now..
Question:
IF, Right time + Right person = The Happiness that everyone is looking for
THEN, Wrong time + Wrong person = A Joke that may or may not be funny
Right time + Wrong person = A Shame that leads you closer to what you want
Wrong time + Right person = ?
Answer: a drop of bloody tear from the heart I asked.. where will you be three years later..
He said.. I don't know..I will probably be doing the same shit.. having the same life that i have now..
I said.. I will be somewhere..far away from ya..looking upon the blue sky..scream out loud..
"where are you now...I am right here..waiting for you.."
The question is.. will you ever hear me.. 9月19日 A BETTER ME..Years ago..when I left China for the first time..I told them my mission of this journey is..To Be A Better Person..I..almost forgot about it...
I guess sometimes people forget what they suppose to do, because life is full of distractions..Again..It just proves that I am just an ordinary person..that's fine..If that's who I am..then I am who I am..Couldn't stay focused for the last 3 months..especifically last week when I supposed to be studying for my exams..which I definitely did not do well..hehe..apparently it happens to every single exam..
I wasn't worried..don't know if it's because I couldn't care less about whether I can graduate on time and make a complete fool out of myself in front of family and friend ( lets assume they do care)..or is it because I was actually so confident in my intelligence.. who is laughing now.. All I know was..I had something/someone on mind that I couldn't keep out of mind..how sad..If that's how love supposed to do a person..then I'd say..a person in love is the saddest person on earth..because they basically lose themselves.. AND..Love someone I shouldn't love at the first place..that's the saddest thing..does that make me the saddest saddest person on earth..who is laughing again..
So..I decide to be a better person..like I determined to be..I hope that makes my mum proud..enough though she doesn't know anything about my life..but I know..she will be proud of me..one day..
Dear Mum..Let Me Protect You.. no need to live in darkness..let me light up your miserable life..
Dear You.. thank you for passing by my life.. I know because of You.. next time when I meet someone..I will be brave..brave enough to tell him..
"Let Me Be Your Happiness..and I Know You Are Mine"
For Now..shall I propose a toast.. To The Better Me! Cheers!!
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